Redwall analogy time again.
Every year at Redwall and each season within its walls are given a name. They have some beautiful ones - "Summer of the Endless Rose", "Year of Unfailing Friendship" ... In Redwall traditon I have decided to name my year just past as the "Year of Unanswered Questions". Not as pretty, but then, neither was my year.
Have you ever felt that God gave you a direction and as you began to faithfully walk in that, that you become hopelessly lost, or at least went stumbling in the dark, gashing your head on rocks as you trip along "the path"? That's me right now.
My questions, you ask? Why, if this Christian walk is all about God's grace and not earning or doing all the right things, do I feel the need to ask "What am I doing wrong here?" Like Job's friends I don't understand why a gracious and merciful Father would allow the things He has in my life if I am not living in sin; why He doesn't seem to live up to the promises of his Word? (Deu 28:12 The LORD will open to you his good treasury, the heavens, to give the rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hands. And you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow. 2Th 3:10 If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. Isa 65:22 They shall not build and another inhabit; they shall not plant and another eat; for like the days of a tree shall the days of my people be, and my chosen shall long enjoy the work of their hands. )
Some would say to me, "That is because there is no God, you believe in a myth." Life's struggles, however, have not made me blind to the blessings by the hand of God. They have made me numb to the joy of them. This is not where I long to be. I miss His heartbeat and His breath of life.
I have been singing a song lately... have you heard it?
So breathe in me, I need you now
I've never felt so dead within
So breathe in me, maybe somehow
You can bring new life to me again.
I used to be So sensitive
To the light that leads to where you are
Now I've aquired these callouses
With the darkness of a cold and jaded heart.
You breathe in me and I'm alive
With the power of your holiness
You breathe in me and you revive
Feelings in my soul I've laid to rest
Michael W. Smith
Where is Your Breath? "Aslan! A Wind! I beg of You!"(Voyage of the Dawn Treader - CS Lewis)
The Year of Unanswered Questions is named well.
