Big Picture Friday

Eye To the Telescope? Could she be the next KT?

Unusual Wind for Bozeman. It wreaked havok with my hair... James made the best of it!
(I may have the hair, but I do NOT have the voice... bummer.) Saw the coolest Video of Black horse & a cherry tree. If you use Yota, go to KT and then click on videos. Its totally worth it!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

We had been trying to have Jess over for weeks, and this last Saturday it finally happened.

We had pizza.

Made Craisin Cookies

Not without its hazards.

and played games.

They went on hikes, sledding, played with the animals and watched Harvey!

That's What Friends Are For

Being in a new community after 16 years in the same body, same town, having our families close and knowing the in and outs of the town and vicinities, is challenging my heart to trust God.

I'm a relational being. It is hard to get to know me, though. I tend to feel awkward and shy in new situations and I turtle. Needless to say, the friends I make are friends for life!

12 years ago, a sweet 17 yr old came into our lives to be a babysitter to our kids. She loved us relentlessly and we returned the favor. Though she is 7 years younger than me, we relate with one another. I respect her immensely.

She came to visit us this week. We had her all to ourselves from Saturday to Thursday! I didn't realize how much my heart was in need of that intimacy that comes from being KNOWN & loved until Cassia made this observation... :

"It is so good to hear you laughing again, Mom."

It struck me that I have not laughed a whole lot since we moved 3 months ago. Oh, I laugh with James, and with the kids, and even with guests - but with Sabrina I let loose that deep, spirit soaring laugh.

On Sabby's 2nd evening with us, Minda came upstairs after she was supposed to be in bed and said, "Could you 2 keep it down? I can't get to sleep with your loud outbursts."

Wednesday, I was able to share with our new Home Group that I was longing for that to be a consistant thing again. I know it is God's desire. I will be faithful to love those He brings into my life and pray that His Spirit will knit me to the ones who will be my next "lifelong friends"!

Thank you for coming Sabrina. I'm already counting the days until next time! I love you!

Journey to the Center

"Over the years I have come to realize that the greatest trap of our life is "self refection". It is the greatest enemy because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the "Beloved". Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth to our existance." ~Henri Nouwen

If you have read this blog for any length of time you know that My life theme seems to be death to the self that keeps me from being fully God's. I talk often of my state of depravity, of wanting to become less so he can become more, of the cross working in me...

But there is a danger in camping there. The Love, which called me into existance, calls me to come out of self-loathing and step into The Truth.

"the reason we never enter into the deepest reality of relationship with God is hat we so seldom acknowledge our utter nothingness before Him." ~ Thomas Merton

This acknowledgement is not, however, done with a hatred for who I am, but in a humility as I realize who He is and His love towards me - not in spite of who I am but as I am.

To the extent that I allow the relentless tenderness of Jesus to invade me, will I see the Truth of who I am. He promises that He will not snuff us out; that He will be a Savior of unbearable forgiveness. God's sorrow lies in my failure to approach Him. I am accepted, loved immutably. God loves me even in (I could go as far as to say Especially in) my brokeness.

"This brokeness is what needs to be accepted. Unfortunately, this is what we tend to reject. Here the seeds of corrosive self-hatered take root. This painful vulnerability is the characteristic feature of our humanity that most needs to be embraced in order to restore our human condition to a healed state." ~ Nicholas Harnan

Yes, I need the death of my the cross to be at work in me. But, I also need to find the power of it.

Yes, I need to see my depraved state without Christ. But, I also need to see His strength as my source.

Yes, I need to know the reality of what sin does to my eternal state and be broken by it. But, I also need know the acceptance & love that gives me wings.