Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Spanish Coffee? What's That?

James has this quirky habit of embarrasing minimum wage employees and his kids, whenever we are in drive thrus (oh, ok - forget drive thrus - just out in public is good enough). He drives into McD's and asks the unsuspecting victim at the other end of the mic, "How much are your $1 fries?" When they answer with "$1.08 with tax", he promptly says, "Ok, but what about before tax?" By this time the poor soul is wondering if this is some kind of psycho and in a shaky voice replies, "Um, that would be $1, sir." James then goes for the jugular and says, "Oh good, and what if I got 2 of them?" A wary chuckle usually comes through the squak box as they total that up for him. He relieves them before pulling forward by letting them know he was just kidding... But it doesn't stop at McD's. At Starbucks he asks if they serve coffee products, and then after they affirm that fact he places his order and adds a $1 fry... At Krispy Kremes he asked if they had any donuts. The lady behind the counter must have had one just like him at home because she told him, "No. We only serve pizza here!" Totally took him off guard!!
SO... when our good friends, Frank and Dawn, took us to McMenamin's on New Years, why would I expect anything different?
We are sitting at the bar, waiting for our table and also for another friend to join up with us, when the bartender asked if we'd like something while we wait. Dawn pursed her lips and then perked up and asked, "Do you do Spanish Coffee's here?" Sara, the bartender, got a knowing twinkle in her eye and said, "Oh Yeah... we do Spanish Coffee". Now - I am below a featherweight when it comes to alcohol (is there a gossimere weight? - that would be me). A hefty merlot will knock me on my butt. And so I, in my gossimere ignorance, ask Dawn, "What's a Spanish Coffee?" Before she barely has time to breathe, a really bad impersonation of a Santa Poco Mexican comes from behind me saying, "Ohhhh,'s like beer."
Oy Vay! That's mi "Amigo" husband!
I had one... they're nothing like beer.


Sabrina said...

I can totally see Jim doing that. I remember those bad jokes. I am glad you put a picture of Frank and Dawn on your blog it is good to see their faces even though it is just a picture.

Larry Brice said...

That is soo funny! I love it when Jim does those kinda things because he keeps such a straight face. It's hard to know if he really is psycho or kidding. It's a gift I tell ya! Teasing should be listed in the gifts of the HS in Rom. 12...hehehe!

Deeapaulitan said...

I agree, it is a gift... However, the phrase "familiarity breeds contempt" is true of myself in this case... well, maybe not contempt... but I DO lean back, heave a big sigh and roll my eyes to the ceiling. He loves it when Fresh Meat comes along with him on these excursions, so please feel free to take my place sometime! A couple of the girls at Starbucks see us and immediately say, "Yeeees, sir, we have coffee here." So he's changing his tactics now and telling them he has a drug habbit (caffien) and needs them to hook him up. Then when they ask if he'd like brownie or biscotti, he replies "no just the drugs, man, just the drugs."

-Justin- said...

Hahaha, sounds like you guys had a great time.

Deeapaulitan said...

Justin- we did, how about your new year? What did you and Nicole do?