This is as far as we have gotten with Christmas this year. With the saga of selling a house, having just moved into our new home, losing my Daddy suddenly & traveling back for his memorial service, the movers leaving my mixing bowls and baking stones behind, and the general lack of funds that goes along with moving - we haven't bought a single gift, baked a single cookie or pie, or sent out a single card. Getting into the Spirit of it all is alluding me.
We're done with school tomorrow until next Wednesday.
I'm amazed, and a bit bugged, at how much of who I am is still wrapped up in what I do. My lack of organization, getting things done, or writing our fun, snappy Christmas letter ~ is affecting how I feel about the Salvation of God coming to earth. I can't see past my own exhaustion and loss.
This is so much harder than I thought it would be.
3 comments:
After Seanna was born i vowed Never to have a child during or right befor a christmas season because I to get wrapped up in the "Season not the Reason" oh how cheesy! Anyways i did it again, this year i have had to let a lot go just because its to hard to do it myself, Carlos and the girls decorated the tree (its not perfect and it bugs me, but i had to let it go), no cookies anywhere, presents ordered online, house not decorated like i would like, i just had to let the things go and know its not who i am. Dig and find his comfort, its not about the things and i know you know that. Spend time with your family, remember the memories of your dad and praise God for his plan in you life. I will be praying for you. H
Good day my dear! Hmmmm I hear this echoing sound of a song in my ear "singing my life with his (her)words, killing me softly with his (her)song." WOW it is back on my knees again. But you know what Deea, the one thing so great about our God, in Him reminding us what it truely is all about,it shows us His great depth of love for us. Hang in there!The good thing is we are still able to hear Him. Was good to see you Sunday-God bless you all-love ya Shelly
Dear Deea and family - I am so sorry for the loss and empty spot left by your father's passing. A hard thing any time but always more poignant during the holiday season. Isn't it interesting how events as mundane as selling your home, buying a new one, moving, unpacking, homeschooling and supporting a husband in his new job can conspire to show us how little can accomplish in our own strength and how fruitless are our efforts to maintain routines and rituals? Having gone through some of these same challenges, I found pockets of myself I didn't like too much and was and am so thankful for the Grace and love of Christ, who loves me in spite of my controlling, perfectionist, martyr-like, impatient tendancies! Having come to the end of myself so many times the past 18 months (2 moves, 2 houses, 4 kids, new schoolsm churches, homeschooling,sports and a husband 2K miles away..)I've learned to let go a bit sooner and lean on Him for more and more. The comfort and sheer relief of knowing I can't and don't have to go any further is kind of addicting!He bridges all the gaps and anything that falls over the edge probably wasn't important anyway!
Take care and call or e-mail some time!Love Jennifer Charpentier
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