Journey to the Center

"Over the years I have come to realize that the greatest trap of our life is "self refection". It is the greatest enemy because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the "Beloved". Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth to our existance." ~Henri Nouwen

If you have read this blog for any length of time you know that My life theme seems to be death to the self that keeps me from being fully God's. I talk often of my state of depravity, of wanting to become less so he can become more, of the cross working in me...

But there is a danger in camping there. The Love, which called me into existance, calls me to come out of self-loathing and step into The Truth.

"the reason we never enter into the deepest reality of relationship with God is hat we so seldom acknowledge our utter nothingness before Him." ~ Thomas Merton

This acknowledgement is not, however, done with a hatred for who I am, but in a humility as I realize who He is and His love towards me - not in spite of who I am but as I am.

To the extent that I allow the relentless tenderness of Jesus to invade me, will I see the Truth of who I am. He promises that He will not snuff us out; that He will be a Savior of unbearable forgiveness. God's sorrow lies in my failure to approach Him. I am accepted, loved immutably. God loves me even in (I could go as far as to say Especially in) my brokeness.

"This brokeness is what needs to be accepted. Unfortunately, this is what we tend to reject. Here the seeds of corrosive self-hatered take root. This painful vulnerability is the characteristic feature of our humanity that most needs to be embraced in order to restore our human condition to a healed state." ~ Nicholas Harnan

Yes, I need the death of my the cross to be at work in me. But, I also need to find the power of it.

Yes, I need to see my depraved state without Christ. But, I also need to see His strength as my source.

Yes, I need to know the reality of what sin does to my eternal state and be broken by it. But, I also need know the acceptance & love that gives me wings.