The Grateful Dead

"A mouse was caught by its tail in a trap the other day, and the poor creature went on eating the cheese. Many men are doing the same. They know that they are guilty, and they dread their punishment, but they go on nibbling at their beloved sins."
C.H. Spurgeon
I came across this quote while I was looking at a doctrine known as the "total depravity of man." "Why would she be looking at that? That doesn't sound like a pleasant way to while-away the hours."
Well, I've been feeling rather depraved lately. You see, I've been waking without a thought of God as my head swims with worries and wonderings of how life is going to pan out.
This quote reminded me of a motto I heard several years ago from a lady I dearly love named Marcy Willis. She preached on the fact that we, as Christians, are supposed to be dead . Christ is the one living inside of us. (Gal. 2:20) The blood that courses through our veins was transfused through His sacrifice on the cross. Our brains comprehend this, but day to day our hearts trust in our own strength and abilities. Marcy would say, "die now, die quickly!" True knowledge of ourselves destroys self confidence. I am never sufficiently affected by the consciousness of my abased/plebian state until I have compared myself with God's perfection. When my corruption and degenerative state does come into clear focus I again want to allow the cross to work it's ascendancy & influence over me.
Romans 14:23 says, "Whatever does not proceed from faith is sin." This is a severe denunciation of all prevalent "virtue" that does not flow from a heart humbly relying on God's grace. I so often step beyond that grace, and therefore into sin. I am ruined unless God awakens my conscience and turns me from my manifest ingratitude. I want to 'die now, die quickly' but find myself in the typical Christian-zombie state of 'the undead' instead of the 'grateful dead' in Christ.