Hello 2010!

WARNING!  LONG, RAMBLING TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE AHEAD!

10 years into a new century already?  I remember thinking about this day when we entered this era.  Looking back on the last 10 years is mind boggling.  Hard to believe some things were 10 years ago, and other things seem more like a millenia ago - "10 years?!  That couldn't have been just 10 years!"
10 years ago I was a homeschooling mother of a 10, 8, & 6 year old, had been married for 11 years & was the ripe 'ole age of 29.  We had been out of Bible College and back at our home church for 6 years.  J had just stepped down from leading worship at every service while working 60 hrs. a week selling Hondas, and we were heading into a downward spiral with God, our friends, our relationship, & life in general.  I am so thankful our God is the God who redeems, who rebuilds, who refreshes, and who holds us close to His heart. 

2000 was one of the longest years of my life.  I came to the end of myself in many ways (I think there are still ends to come to), and so did J.  God began to show us the grace of His soveriegnty. We began a journey to relearn what the Gospel of Jesus really is.  We began to be set free from having to 'do' because of man-imposed requirements and expectations, and to 'do' from the outflow of what was happening in us and who Jesus is. 

I just finished reading through the book of John again & the thing that stuck out to me most was that Jesus did nothing, said nothing, went nowhere without the leading of His Father.  He made no apologies for doing or saying or going because it wasn't His choice, His will, or His way.  This is what God has been working in us for a decade... What can I say?  We're slow.

We were so hungry for this new found grace.  We ate up every podcast, sermon, book, or article that explained further, helped us go deeper, and gave our hearts' cry validity.  Mark Driscoll, Matt Chandler, Tim Keller, Alistar Begg, Rick McKinley, Donald Miller, Jon Eldredge, AW Tozer, CS Lewis, Voddie Baucham, Greg Harris, and many others nutured what the Holy Spirit was doing in us. 

Even though soverignty was more validated than it ever had been in our lives, we still had questions of "why?", for us, it was taking so long to step into the calling we knew existed.  Men we hardly knew saw it on our lives, but those who were closest to us seemed not only to ignore it, but squelch it.  Why was God allowing it?  Did we have more to learn?  Were we still becoming those who could hear The Father's voice? 

I heard, just 3 years ago, about a study done by a man named Richard Rohr.  I don't agree with everything I have read, but this made my spirit leap when I heard it.  It was on a man's life journey and the things necessary for a man to fully become what he is called to be.  He graphed it, which I can't show you here, and at certain points along the graph were divergences.  Something significant needed to happen in order for the journey to continue upward toward the positive life.  One of those things happens around the age of 25 (the age J was when we were returning from Bible college), and again around the age of  30 (about the age he was in 2000).  I wish we had known this then.  Friar Rohr showed this: 

· Men must have the affirmation and guidance of wise mentors. 

· Men have a need and a responsibility to mentor future generations.

We already knew it by the time we were shown the study.  J had desperately longed for someone to not only see his potential but to nuture it and give him a path of opportunity to grow in it.  He also desired to have young men to disciple - to follow him as he followed Christ; to see them come into their callings; to see them become disciplers.

Hindsight is always clearer than foresight, right?  We know now that not having those things lit a fire beneath our spiritual butts.  We became passionate & intetional in seeking out wise men who would give affirmation and guidance to J., and encouraging others to not wait for it to happen.  And, J. began to seek out those men with hungry hearts to be discipled - to ask the tough questions, & to encourage and support as they began their upward journey.  Being believed in does something to our needy human hearts.  Hindsight doesn't bring comfort to the past, but it does offer peace.  With peace we can move forward.
Our current place in this journey, 10 years along, has more leaning on knowing God so fully and completely that there is no need of further understanding.  But, golly, it's hard to let go of our humaness.

"If Your Presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here!  How will in be known that Your people and I have found favor in You sight except that You go with us?"  Ex.33:15&16  I'll say even more - How will Your Name be exalted in the earth, How will Your people and I ever go beyond, How will The Father be glorified if You do not go with, before and behind us?  I believe 2010 is the beginning of an epoch - The beginning of a new period marked by radical changes and new developments beyond what is humanly possible; the telling of which will draw the hearers "further up and further in".

Want to come?

A Time to Let Go

(Card made by my friend Danni ~ she is so awesome!)There is a time and a season for everything under Heaven. This is a season of change for the Pauls. Change in job, location, and of seeing at least 2 of our 3 young adults off to college.
Last week was full of college apps, transcripts, references, and essays in the Paul household. Finding out that the deadline for applications to the college they wanted to apply to was 3 days away sent us into a scurry. Each of them needed 3 references, + 4 500 word essays (that's 2000 words each!) on different subjects!! Besides the fact that we had to order SAT scores to be sent and move money from their college funds into my bank account so I could pay the fees. In the end it all came together. God allowed all the people we needed references from to be home and available, for us to be able to file the app online so the deadline postmark was achieved and each of them were able to quickly write out 2000 words on the required subjects. Amazing!

Reading their essays, after they had been sent, brought tears. I love my kids. As parents, we aren't always sure we are doing a very good job; constantly questioning God's decision to allow us to be part of raising these little souls. We have had many that have told us we how wonderful they think our kids are, but when I read it their own words, words uncoerced and without knowing I would even read them, of how they feel we did, I was humbled. An odd sense of wonder filled me. Wonder at all the struggles, discipline, the talks, frustrations, & hard decisions being worth the cost because of the joy. I have a little more experiential knowledge of how Jesus felt in enduring the cross for the joy set before Him.

I asked their permission to post them here. It's more for me. This is our family blog where I put memories and thoughts, struggles and triumphs. This, to me, was a triumph. I want it preserved - because something tells me there are more struggles ahead. (2 Peter 1:15, Heb. 10:32-38)
I am pasting them here as they wrote them - no corrections...

Tofer's Essays - in snippets:

I have grown up in a Christian home (both parents being Christians). My relationship with my parents is more than a lot of guys my age have. My dad & I are a team when we are together. Though our wills clash and we butt heads sometimes, I never doubt his love for me. My mom is an amazing woman of God, & I know I often take her for granted. She is there for me when I am down, always, and expects nothing in return for the constant outpouring into my life.
For the most part I am submissive to authority and function well under leadership. I believe God has placed authority in everyone’s life to keep order, structure, & discipline in community. Without it the community is in the highest danger of failure and doomed to chaos. A family is not complete without a father and mother. The Father should lead and love his household according to Christ’s standards. The mother should lead the family in unity with and in submission to the father. Lastly, the children should come under the authority that God has placed in their lives. The past 2 years have been a trial and a joy as my dad took the role of Worship Pastor here in Bozeman. I never expected what God had in store for me or my family when He brought us here. God showed me through my dad and other men of God that pride, jealousy, bitterness, and anger were in my life just beneath the surface. Those things were brought into the light and dealt with. I let a lot of things go, and am learning to not hold onto wrongs done to me and to lay down my pride & get comfortable with confessing sins and asking for forgiveness.
As a family we take a Sabbath. It is very important to us to let God recreate His life within us as we rest in Him, #1 because He commands it and #2 because it is a necessity.
I write a lot of music. My dad and my sister join me every once in awhile to write a verse or a chorus with me. Music has always been a part of my family.
I say this, not out of pride but, because it is the truth - as a family we pour our time and energy into the church.
I have 2 sisters, one older, one younger. They are a joy to me and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
God is my everything. I couldn’t live without Him. I have a passion to see those who don’t know Him come to the realization that they need a savior. They are blind to who He is and what He has done. I want to help them see. With that said, I want my life to be that of a missionary! My commitment to Him is full and always will be, by His grace.
Grace is what I am most thankful for. I am just beginning to grip the value and necessity of it.
As for my history with drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and pornography, I don’t really have one. I’ve never craved sin. I have craved adventure, adrenaline, and attention. However, the more I continue to know God, the easier it is to let go of earthly ‘feel goods’ & set my desires on Christ alone. I’m done testing out sin for myself, heeding the warnings of The Word and other in my life.
As with any ‘walk’ of forward, ongoing motion I pray that my spiritual walk with God will always be just that. On May 24th, 2000 I received Christ into my heart, though I had asked Him to save me from Hell when I was 3 years old, I had suddenly come to the realization of who Christ is and what He did for me (though, I still don’t fully understand it). I know, beyond a shadow of doubt that I am a Christian. A sinner who was saved by grace, through the cross of Jesus Christ, in pursuit of glorifying my Lord. (Which includes bringing others to a saving knowledge of Him, listening and following His calling on my life, &, in that, being a positive example for others to follow.) Because I professed with my mouth that Jesus is Lord of my life, & I believe in my heart that He is risen from the dead after taking the sins of the world upon Himself and conquering them through the obedience of death, I know that I am a Christian.
The Word of God is my light and my way, my guide for (I wish I could name them) all my decisions. It’s a comfort & a challenge, an inspiration & a joy, it’s the only Truth in which I place my trust, it’s firm & never fails to keep me on the right path!
My prayer life needs improvement, and always will, but I am learning to live my life as a constant prayer unto God. Thinking of Him more often, consulting Him for everyday wisdom, learning His will, and walking in accuracy and alignment with His plan for my life. I’m not ashamed of prayer. In a large group I can be bold and pray out and feel comfortable, but I enjoy seeking the Lord in my room with the door shut as well. I love talking to God, knowing He is right there with me.

Growing up, like most kids, I dreamed big. NBA, NFL, CIA or FBI were on my list! I began to let go of those dreams as I got older and realized that what I viewed as successful and important wasn’t God’s view of those things. When I first read the scripture, “Go into all the world and make disciples of all nations”, I started to get excited and a dream started to form in my heart of a life of adventure in God’s plan.
As I got older, the kindling of the desire to be on the mission field grew in intensity through studying Christ’s life here on earth. I began to see that people were His mission in life. He would always stop to talk, heal, preach, & encourage; sharing the love of their Maker with them.


Cassia's Essays - in snippets:

Both of my parents gave their hearts to God long before I was born and, now 18 years later, they are more His than ever. They’ve had heated disagreements in the past but always sought reconciliation. Forgiving, forgetting and moving on afresh. Mom and Dad have always seen parenthood as season of fashioning arrows who, when their shot out, hit the mark. They made a decision even before they had kids to homeschool. And as of this May my Mom will have taken all three of us through our senior year in Highschool. My dad has worked long weeks for as long as I can remember so that my mom can be home, but takes his responsibility of Father and not just provider seriously. He’s constantly speaking truth and love into our lives.

Both of my parents have never been shy to discipline us when they’ve seen a need for it. We grew up being taught that honoring and respecting the authority figures in our lives was indispensable and didn’t enjoy the consequences when we chose to disregard this. I’ve always appreciated the people who have held positions of authority within my life , and have been blessed that the said men and women have really sought to love me and been individuals of integrity.

In our family we often do devotions of our own throughout the week but like to gather together for them as well. We also recognize a Sabbath every week. On these days we make a point to be alone with God and each other, taking a brake from work and allowing God to recreate us and breath on our relationships with eachother. It’s been a time to being still as well as a time to celebrate who He is and what He’s done/ is doing. We definitely haven’t always been the perfect family or example but God has continually been alive and at work in our home, and each year finds us closer to God and each other.

I became a PK just before turning 17 and have grown up within the church. I love the body Christ and am so thankful to have had that privilege. I wish there was a lot less confusing religion with the Gospel however. A lot fewer facades and a lot more vulnerability between each other. Something that God’s been teaching me is that the more acquainted and accepting we become with ourselves the better were able to know Him and be used by Him. We should know who we are without Christ and who we are as redeemed sons and daughters of God. Familiar and at peace with our strengths and weaknesses. Knowing and rejoicing in the promise God made when He told Paul : “My grace is sufficient for you: for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

I’m told by my parents that Jesus came to live in me when I was about 3, following a brief question and answer exchange around our dinner table :

[from my highchair] “How does Jesus come into our hearts?”

Momma: “By us asking Him to. And, (with a comforting smile) you will when your ready.”

Wherein, hardly missing a beat, I bowed my head and proceeded to tell Jesus I loved Him, asking him to “please, come into my heart”.

As the years progressed and I became better aware of what that petition entailed, I never regretted making it. I became more and more fascinated with Jesus. The things he taught and the life He lived. Horrified at the death we were guilty of helping Him suffer. Yet in spite of this I subconsciously entertained the belief that salvation was something to be earned. The result was a very religious, self righteous young lady. All this time however, I hadn’t been able to grasp the truth that God really desires to be in relationship with His children.

During my 13th summer I attended camp with my youth group and all the seeds that my parents had been sowing in my heart concerning the relationship factor of walking with Jesus sprang up. By the time I returned He wasn’t just my Lord, He was fastly becoming my best friend.

There’s definitely something to be said for not simply knowing God in your head but also in your heart. You can only love someone so much when your not in relationship with them and the love that was ignited in my heart towards God, through our new found friendship, was deep and transforming.

I wish I could say that from that time forward I ceased to sin or obsess about being the perfect Christian, but I can’t.The growth I’ve experienced since then, however, has been tremendous.Slowly but surely God began the process of uprooting all my convenient deceptions, convicting my heart about the things in my life that were pulling at our relationship, and directing my focus off of me onto Him. Truth has been setting me free.

As far as continuing to cultivate my heart goes,it’s been amazing actually experiencing and realizing that the Bible is alive and life giving…I need it. I suffer when I’m not feeding it to my heart and allowing it to renew my mind.
Just as imperative for me is prayer. When I’m not consistently seeking God through prayer my relationship with Him becomes handicapped and my heart grows less soft. Prayer also helps me put things in back in perspective and see the bigger picture.

I’m still a work in progress and always will be, but my heart is hopelessly lost to my King and I am thoroughly enjoying the adventure of being His daughter.

The Value of the Vision of Blind Faith

The beauty of God's sovereignty has come round again in my heart over the last week. Circumstances have caused me to grieve, but the sorrow that filled my soul has been slowly replaced by an unutterable peace in knowing that there is nothing that occurs without ultimately accomplishing His purposes in my life and the lives of those that love Him and seek to glorify Him.

"It will be as I have planned" Is. 14:24b

"For everything comes from Him and exists by His power and is intended for His glory. All glory to Him forever. Amen." Rom. 11:36

Life is so much more difficult when I think that it is all about me. 'Why is this happening to me?', 'What have I done to deserve this?'... I am not omniscient. I can't see the big picture. I don't know what plans from ages past God is bringing to fruition here and now, or what the future will hold for those beyond my lifetime who will be affected by His purposes for me. Yet I worry, and grieve, and scheme, and fig-leaf subconsciously believing that I somehow can mess up His ways. That I am somehow in control.

I found myself wondering why Jesus instructed us to pray, "Thy will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven," if His will (according to the verses above & many more besides) is already being accomplished. I heard, soft, within my spirit, that it was for me. That in praying for His will to be done I am placing myself in humble submission to what He is accomplishing. That, in and of itself even, is His will.

So, as events unfold in the weeks ahead, I am resting in the knowledge and assurance that Christ is omniscient (He knows all, He has all wisdom, all knowledge, is all intelligent), omnipotent (there is none more powerful, None besides who is almighty, only He is supreme), omnipresent (infinite, always present everywhere, without beginning or end) and sovereign (He alone is commanding the stars & moons in their orbits, He is unmitigated, He alone is master of creation, holding the reigns). There is nothing new under the sun for Him. There is no heart I trust more deeply.

A song is playing in my thoughts, written in days of old , still speaking Truth:

This is no time for fear

This is a time for faith and determination

Don't lose the vision here

Carried away by emotion

Hold on to all that you hide in your heart

There is one thing that has always been true

It holds the world together

God is in control

We believe that His children will not be forsaken

God is in control

We will choose to remember and never be shaken

There is no power above or beside Him, we know

God is in control, oh God is in control

History marches on

There is a bottom line drawn across the ages

Culture can make its plan

Oh, but the line never changes

No matter how the deception may fly

There is one thing that has always been true

It will be true forever

~Twila Paris

A List

We spent a wonderfully refreshing evening last night with Ryan and Andrea Ward and their sweet kiddos, Grace and Caleb. If any of you grew up in Manhattan or have attended Montana Bible College, you probably know them. What a great family. Filled with God to the brim and overflowing.

Andrea made us pizza and Gracie and Caleb couldn't wait to get to the ice cream they made. J made a big hit with the kids, per usual. He made pineapple talk (which Grace giggled about but promptly informed us that pineapples don't talk). Later he asked if she ate ice cream on her pizza or pizza on her ice cream - - in general he was just a big kid; hence the complete adoration of the lollipop league.

Late in the evening we talked about books that have spoken to us recently and ones that helped us as we were raising a family.

It isn't the first time in the past couple months that I have had this conversation with someone. We have several new, or soon-to-be, parents as friends and it blesses me that people turn to us for answers. We haven't really done anything extraordinary - it's just that intentionality goes a long way when you couple it with the convictions of God in your own hearts as parents. We read and listened to a lot because their is something about becoming a parent that causes you to feel lost (or at least 'at a loss'). Good place to be. Humble, needy, scared, and directionless are all postures that God can use and infuse with His glory.

Here's a list of books we've read, loved, reread, tried to implement, cried over, repented because of, etc... etc... etc...
Family life and parenting in general:
The Family - JR Miller
Ministry of Motherhood &
Mission of Motherhood - both by Sally Clarskson
For the Families Sake &
When Children Love to Learn- Susan Schaeffer Macaulay
Romancing Your Child's Heart - Monte Swan
Family Driven Faith - Voddie Bauchaum
Parenting with Kingdom Purpose - Hemphill & Ross
My one caution is that several of these books lean heavily toward the 'works' side of things. Be careful as you read them to remember that Christ died to allow the Holy Spirit to come and empower you to do all things through Christ. Your lives should be filled with the Holy Spirit and grace so that the work is a joy and an outflow of Who is alive inside of you.

Raising Sons:
Future Men - Douglas Wilson
Thoughts for Young Men - RC Ryle
Raising a Modern Day Knight - Robert Lewis


Raising Daughters:
Beautiful Girlhood - Mable Hale (updated version by Karen Andreola) or online here
To the Harmonious Development of Christian Character - Newcomb
Raising Maidens of Virtue - Stacy Macdonald

There are others, of course, but these are the ones that I have purposed to buy for my own children to read for their development as parents when the time comes. Some of them are for when your children are small, some for when they begin to grow into adults, but if you can read them BEFORE you get to the stage they are really needed, the stages will be in a truer perspective as they come. I read several of these while I was pregnant with Cassia, and have gone back to them continually.

If you are planning on homeschooling:
Seasons of Life &
Practical Homeschooling - Gregg Harris
Anything and Everything by the Vision Forum

Snoop!

We live in MSU town. :o) Needless to say we have a lot of college students who are away from home and friends and family ~ some for the very first time in their tender years. So we began Ad./Bc. (Adopt a Bobcat) where those students can get home cooked meals, wrestle with siblings, get hugs & be loved, or get rides to appointments. Last night we gathered for a kick-off celebration. We played this fantastic game with dice, cards and white elephant gifts called SNOOP!
It was a great night of being goofy, and competitve and finding friends amidst new faces, and old. What was in the bags wasn't the only surprise I got. Our friends, Matt, Sara, and Bella have come home for the winter!!! Yes, I totally freaked out... in fact, I screamed - - what else would you expect me to do when one of my best friends whom I have seen a total of 2 weeks in the past year, and who was not scheduled to be back for 2 more months comes nonchalantly walking through the doorway?
They're home, they're home, they're home!!!

(thanks for comendeering my camera and preserving the memories, my friend!)

Incidentally - if you haven't seen Sara's photos, you don't know what you're missing!

Worship Without Borders

Tim and Maryl are here for a 5 day worship symposium. Last night we met at the Schlender's for dinner, worship and a lesson.

It was one of the most awesome, sweetest times of worship I have ever experienced. Everyone sang out in abandon, giving God all of themselves. It was life changing.

We left with the snow drifting down and this morning we have 4 inches! I'm so glad we are inside for more time of worship and fellowship!

All's Quiet on the Home Front

Jim Hawthorne called J. to ask if he could borrow Tofer for this weeks Jr High camp. They were short the # of male counselors needed for the amount of campers coming in.
Many of you will remember that Tof spent 6 weeks at YAA last summer and another week with Jim and Seth going up and over the Spanish Peaks.
Tof really thrives in this kind of enviorment. Constant busyness. Never a moment to be idle really. He loves the work with the grounds, the kids, the worship, the food - every aspect.
I can totally see him going into this full time when he graduates.

Minda had applied and deeply desired to do the Timothy program this year (what Tof did last summer), but J & I were feeling a strong pull to keep the kids close. We thought this might be Cassia's last summer home, and we were just feeling the need to be family. It's been good, and we are glad we made the decision.

However... when we gave the ok for Tof to counsel, we had to call Jim back and ask if Minda could join the staff as well. Jim graciously said for her to come on up and help in the kitchen. She is on KP for the week and is more excited than a kid in a candy shop! Needless to say, the house is quiet and very low key with only Cassia, Cricket and I here most of the day. Devotions, J comes and goes, we do our chores, snap a few photos and then??? I think I'll go grocery shopping ...
All photos by YAA in summer 2007

Life Questioned ~ edited

It is our own heart, and not someone's opinion of us that forms our character

Frederich Von Shiller

Our church is making cutbacks. Money is a rudder. It isn't a storm, or the helm, or even the sail or the wind in the sail. It just makes all those things way more obvious when it is lacking. Sadly, it does turn the ship. It creates panic and unrest on board when you know that one little piece of wood has been cracked, damaged or removed and you no longer have the power to control the ships movements.

It has been an emotional week. Our dearest friends, and the associate pastors of our body (the Murrays) have been let-go. We are heartbroken, discouraged, at-a-loss, and reeling from the blow. I don't understand the decision, but what I do know is that these are some of the most God-honoring people I have ever had in my life. God is for them. He is completely able to turn for good something that doesn't look that way in the natural. I know they will let Him lead them into the next glory beyond what He began here, as they look to Him. My heart will be bowed low for a long, long, time ~ both in prayer for understanding & comfort, but also because that is the only place it can be right now... low, at the foot of the cross ~ in sackcloth and ashes.

Don and Jen, River and Mo, we love you way up to the moon and deeper than the ocean. We will miss having you by our side everyday. Thank you for being our friends. This is one of the most difficult things we've ever experienced.

(J felt that I shared a bit too much, so I have edited this post. Please forgive me if I helped to start a root of bitterness in any of you, and please, please know that wasn't my intention. I journal here. Sometimes I forget that others even read it, so I must be more careful in content. Thanks for understanding. ~D)

More Power to Him

More from VBS!!

Quarentined Lepars.

Every Move I Make.

Ben is Brave!

Cheese Its!

the POWERS Christ gives

I'm photographing VBS this week, so I won't be posting a whole lot.... Bunch of Mad Science goin' on as we test out and discover the Power from Christ to be thankful, to help others, to be brave, to live forever, and to tell others about Him! Our whole family is involved and it has been a blast the past few days - except for the 6" of snow out at YAA campground where we are holding it!

Frogs and More

We are in the middle of endless winter. We're experiencing barefoot & frolic depravation. Last winter was our first in Bozeman and God must have let us just have a 'sip' ~ Sorta work us in, easy like. This year its' been like drinking from a firehose. It has literally been 8 months of winter. We've had non-stop snow since the end of Sept. Great for the skiiers, not so great for those of us with Spring in our hearts.

We've been hankerin' for Summer - campfire grub, Flip flops, tank tops, Fresh fruits, vegies, grilled fish.

Family night this week I decided to cook a childhood favorite of mine. Grampa used to make this in the big dutchovens when we'd go camping. He called it Frogmore Stew - cause it had Frogs and More in it! It's simple and fun.

Throw chunks of potato, corn cobs, crab, shrimp, frog legs, or whatever into a pot with some olive oil and water. Season to taste with whatever you want and boil it until tender. Then drain it and dump it onto newpaper in the middle of the table. (I put a garbage bag under it so it wouldn't damage the table, but when you are camping it doesn't matter!)

Give everyone a ramikin of garlic butter, a big napkin and long forks and have at it!

You'll be surprised at how quickly it is gone!

Minda beat us all in corn cobs ~ Her place looked somewhat like a graveyard.

What I really love about this dish is the clean up! When you are finished you just roll up all the newsprint. I tossed the cobs out for the squirrels, the newspaper went in the recycling, and that left me 5 forks and 5 glasses to wash!

It reminds me of Fondue in some ways. You all sit around a central 'pot' and laugh, chatter, and eat, getting your forks tangled up, chiding the ones who are hogging all the shrimp... Great family fun!

First Born

Before Cassia was born a prophesy went over her:

"Every child that opens the womb shall be called holy unto the Lord. And this child, in your womb, this child will be His anointed. This child will be a fulfilling of the scripture, ' and a child shall lead them.'

Anyone who knows Cassia wouldn't look at her and say, "Now there is a great leader!" But typical to the kingdom of Heaven the weak confound; the least are great. Cassia has a meek and gentle spirit that draws you to her, helps you let down your guard, and captures your affections. She has an uncanny ability to care deeply about everyone she comes in contact with. You are taken into her heart. Once there you will be ushered before the Throne of Grace by her, time & time again.

Being around her challenges you spiritually. She doesn't have to say a word. There is simply a quiet strength about her; an irrevocable presence that goes deep unto deep where Christ speaks life and blows away the dust of dormancy as Holy Spirit begins to move.
She has made us unbelievably proud as parents, but more importantly, I believe God looks upon her and smiles. He sings over her. A song that bestows anointing and grace with it's melody. And she sings back ~ in harmony.

She is leaving in 7 days to take her first road trip all by herself. She'll be gone 4-5 days, for more than 50 hours on the Greyhound, and be going through an interview and several other events at Crown College in Minnesota. Please pray for her (and for us as we watch her grow up)!

When in the Course...

The Declaration of Independence begins:
When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

The ‘south’ of the civil war echoed these words when thy chose to secede from the United States. Though I have never uttered them aloud to anyone for the reason of secession, I have felt them inextricably when it comes to the raising of our children.

20 years ago, J and I disconnected from popular culture – which not only didn’t win us any popularity contests, it set us at odds with family, friends, and even our church. We “assumed among the powers of the earth, the separate & equal station to which the Laws of nature and of nature’s God” entitled us! Very few understood or chose to try to understand why we were walking a different path and we soon found ourselves on the front lines of a revolutionary war.

I don’t want this to be a repeat of past posts (you can look back through the archives if you want to see me standing on my soapbox proclaiming Deuteronomy 6 parenting), instead I want to cross something off my life list and tell someone ‘Thank you’.

I finished “Family Driven Faith” yesterday. It’s subtitled ‘Doing What it Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters Who Walk With God’. Dr. Voddie Bauchaum clearly and concisely communicated our 20 year heart’s cry for our family. I posted awhile back about the podcast we listened to as a family that had me in tears. There were tears again as I turned the pages filled with solid proof & validation of our heart’s leadings all these years. I wish I knew Voddie and Bridget personally. They are kindred spirits. Thank you, Dr. Baucham, for being faithful to proclaim this message.

As for my life list ~ I realized that this has really been a life message for us. It is a cause that I am passionate about and that I have a difficult time being silent over. I want to see God’s purposes fulfilled! I can cross it off my list!!

Things to Do / See While I Yet Have Breath In Me:

· Fall deeply, helplessly, and unconditionally in love with someone who returns the sentiments and marry him. X (11/26/1988)
· Be an amazing friend who has amazing friends.
· Teach someone to read. X (1991, 1994, 2000)
· Ride horses on the seashore.
· Give birth, breastfeed, and raise loving children. X (1989, 1991, 1993)
· Be someone others respect deeply but do not fear.
· Be rescued.
· Memorize a book of the Bible.
· Be hugged by my Dad for no apparent reason & hear him say, “I love you.” For the same reason. X (11/22/06 - he died later that week unexpectedly)
· Bathe in a claw foot tub with tons of bubbles. X (11/26/2000 Anacortes, WA)
· Learn to tell the truth, in love, tempered with grace.
· Take a vacation with no time limits and stop whenever and wherever I wish. Have picnics, explore, photograph everything of interest…
· Make my own jewelry.
· Work in a soup kitchen for a holiday.
· Talk in an foreign accent for an entire day, some place where no one knows me.
· Sit on a jury.
· Milk a goat.
· Meet at least 2 people I do not know, whom I admire deeply.
· Attend a Broadway Musical or a Ballet on Broadway.
· Swim with Dolphins.
· Ride a camel in Africa.
· Send a message in a bottle in the Atlantic Ocean.
· Pet a Harbor Seal Pup.
· Learn to speak a foreign language fluently.
· Learn Sign language well.
· Be covered in butterflies.
· Visit 5 of the 7 continents. (N. America, Asia...)
· Be someone’s mentor.
· Learn to really dance. All styles (except western).
· Write a novel and have it published.
· See the Smithsonian and the rest of DC.
· Watch a lunar eclipse. X (3/3/07; 2/20/08)
· Write my will.
· Experience weightlessness.
· Kayak with Killer Whales.
· Hold my grandchildren, and see them laugh.
· Walk through history in the original 13 colonies.
· See the Northern Lights.
· Ride in a hot air balloon.
· Design and grow my own secret garden.
· Watch a lightning storm at sea.
· Visit the birth places of my ancestors.
· Own one classic, classy evening dress.
· Volunteer at an AIDS clinic in Africa.
· Buy a home near a stream or pond with a big porch & have a “revolving door” for friends, family, and needy.
· Learn to sing so others at least don’t mind listening.
· Spend Christmas in the Alps in a chateau by a fire with the one I love and wrapped in Cashmere.
· Have our family portrait painted.
· Throw a huge party where everyone who has ever been dear to us is invited and attends.
· Watch the sun come up on the ocean embraced by someone who loves me.
· Tour countries by bicycle for a year.
· Become an Auntie X (8 / 10/ 2007!!! to Connor)
· Fly a plane.
· Take serious art classes.
· Be a “mama” to orphans.
· Go white water rafting.
· Be kissed so passionately I get dizzy.
· Have photos published.
· Experience a spa day ~ a total pamper and primp.
· See the Cirque de Soile`.
· Ride a motorcycle. X (beginning in 2002 - 2005, Honda Nighthawk 750)
· Make love in a sleeper car on a traveling train.
· See my children marry someone who loves unconditionally, passionately, and deeply and have the wedding they dream of.
· Help build a house.
· Become knowledgeable and passionate about a cause. X (Doing what t takes to raise children who walk with God fully~ realized 3-16-08)
· Live somewhere without TV / Internet / Telephone / Cell Phone for a year, where there is a tight community of people. (almost like early America)
· Photograph: A birth, a wedding X (10/3/03; 11/13/04; 5/5/05; 8/4/07;11/24/07 ), a funeral.
· Speak at a large conference.
· Wander through: sleepy New England villages; and the fallen leaves, flea markets, ancient ruins, coffee shops, sandy beaches, museums, gardens, vineyards and attics of the Grecian Isles, Scotland, Ireland, Giverny, Tuscany, Madeira, Maine, and Prince Edward Island.
· Give more support and encouragement than criticism and correction.
· Do one thing that scares me to death.
· Get organized.

TGIF!

Melissa emailed this week and asked if we could meet for coffee. No agenda, just to chat. :o) We met at the new Daily on Rouse and did just that... talked. Thanks Mel. It was schweeeeet!

Catching Air! I'd appreciate your prayers still for Tof. His landing on his elbows and the ensuing numbness/tingliness of his left hand have not disapated for 2 weeks now.

We had friends over last night for a Mexican Fiesta! After gorging ourselves with enchiladas, spanish rice, frejoles, and Birthday Cake (Nathan and Anthony's), we played games, went sledding, had a snowball fight, and listened to the 3 guitarists hone their skills!

The time went by so fast. No one left until midnight!!

A Rant & a Praise for Grace, Grace, Grace

The worldwide churches' model of youth ministry from the last 50 years or so doesn't flip my flapjacks. (Like that one babe?!) But that isn't simply what this post is about. I hope it is more about the grace of God in the life of this hard headed, freight train of a daughter of His.

I'm not normal. If you have read this blog very long, I'm not sayng anything new. Look back through the archives and you'll see it crop up. (*here, *here, *here, *here are some examples)

Before I married J, God got ahold of me hook, line and sinker. I had been a 'believer' but not a Christian until that point. I began to devour the Word. What spoke most to me were the verses where God revealed how to raise a family, what a Godly wife looked like, and what it meant to be His child in His family (that is pretty much the entire Bible... :o) ). Deuteronomy 6:7 became my mantra. J & I discussed it all. We would homeschool our kids. Raise them without TV and very few if any movies. We would teach them to love God and seek Him and listen to Him. Our kids wouldn't date. We would make sure they were socialized through hospitality in our own home, under our authority. Dreams formed into values and study of Word and resources formed foundations.

We were told we were overprotective, that our kind of kids were needed in the public school arena, that they were going to grow up ignorant and naive ~ Do you get the picture that 20 years ago these were not popular ways of thinking. They still aren't, but as our kids are older and are able to expound their own thoughts and values to others; they have taken on much of the "Burden of Proof". Who they are speaks for the fact that God's ways are perfect.

Every now and then we hear someone else's voice that supports us in our shaping and sharpening of the arrows in our quiver that they might hit the marks God shoots them toward. 16 years ago we got ahold of a tape series by a (then) little known pastor, named Gregg Harris. (He's the dad of Joshua Harris, and Alex & Brett Harris and others who are shaking the world) I walked away with a key phrase from this series; I want my kids to be the missionaries and not the mission field .

We began homeschooling and lapping up everything we could get our hands on that would help us to not just fill them with knowledge, but train them in the way they should go. The Vision Forum began sending us catalogs, and I shamelessly ordered their books and tape series through our local library. We were filled with vision and purpose!

7 years later (that would be 9 years ago for those of you who don't like to do the math!) Monte Swan came into my life. Not literally. Just his book. It gave raising a family beauty as well as purpose.

When the teenage years (5 years ago) began and it was time to decide what to do about youth group, our spirits were in turmoil. We wanted to support our church, our youth pastor, and our youth, but we couldn't reconcile what we were doing with what we had always taught our kids ~ with what our convictions were. So again we began to dig for God's Truth. We didn't want to say "No you can't" simply because our hearts were unsettled, we wanted to bring it back to the Gospel. We knew the Word said clearly - "Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children " (Deut. 4:9) "Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads." (Deut. 6:5-8) Simple as that. Was there a model out there? Something and someone we could point to that could back us up when we presented this highly unpopular belief to our circle of friends and family? Stats? Anything? What a joy the internet became. We had the world at our fingertips. :o) cliche' but true. I now have a favorites file entitled "Reimagining Family and Life" where I have bookmarked sites of people and organizations that point us ever onward in this journey being a Christ Centered family.

Again we found a book. Parenting with Kingdom Purpose both reiterrated what we had always held a conviction in and gave us new weapons to fight the battle ahead. We were refreshed in our zeal, steadfast in our purpose.

2 nights ago, J came home and had us all gather in the lvingroom to hear a podcast. This is nothing new, but J was impassioned by this speaker and we could tell the next 20 minutes were going to be important. Family Driven Faith is a new book on the old subject (in our house anyway) of shifting your paradigm of how you think family should be done; not going with the flow, not doing what everyone else is doing, or what is the easiest... but what God ordained from the beginning of time for our families to be. I was in tears by the end. My heart was just so full of the grace of God.
Thank you, Father for the fortiftude you placed in our hearts and continue to refortify. Thank you, for not allowing our shortcomings to derail Your divine purposes.

It isn't over yet.