Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Expressing Unknowns

I have wanted to post several times this week and just have not been able to put my feelings into thoughts that can be expressed in words. We have had some things change in our home this week and they have me reeling. I am fighting to not be angry, to accept, to show mercy, to be gracious and give love & not hate. After being a Christian for nearly 20 years, you would think I would have more of the image of Christ imprinted on me and His love shed abraod in my heart... not the case it seems. I struggle. Why, if Christ is alive inside of me, is it so hard for me to take on His compassion or at least sympathy. Why can't I be like Him? Will I ever be like Him?
Pray. Please.
For ~
*a quick change in this situation(expedited, with all haste... and really fast too)
*room in my heart for more than an allowance, but acceptance
*more of Christ - less of me (this should have been #1)
*unity on decisions
*understanding the secret code messages that pass when you 'can't say' what you would like to say, because *cough* so & so is in earshot. (or it just isn't edifying!)


Next time I'll post about our wonderful Memorial Day family tradition. As soon as Cassia uploads the pictures...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't help but believe-this is where God wants you. It seems He is whispering, in His Omnipotence "Deea, this is exactly where I want you." He knows when, where,and why. I know sweet friend, you know all this, and your pain is real, so in saying this, I shall keep you close to my heart and continue to be praying for you and your family. Love ya Shelly Svilar

Pastor Paul said...

That is a great picture that expresses your heart right now. I can't help but wonder if Shelly is right. However, know that you are not alone... and I don't mean just that God is with you, though that should be enough. No, there are others standing with you in prayer, and ready to stand in friendship if we can figure out what that means and what is needed. Don't be afraid to call people to vent, pray, and even to ask for help. You may not have little ones any more, but you are still human, and we all need breaks from the battle. Shari and I are praying for you.