Saturday, December 09, 2006

Home at Last

In our front yard Wednesday Morning!
It seems magical, this whole idea of coming into a Calling. As if it should only be a dream, or like you are playing and it will all end when you are called for dinner.
Being in Montana and waking up to a world covered in white, and more snow softly falling helps with that etherial feeling.
Furthr add to the equation the fact that we are in a home that overlooks the Gallatin Valley, with the Bitteroot Range and the Tetons beyond that and I become just plain overwhelmed.
BUT it doesn't end there. God called us to a people who love us. He has given us opportunity both to give and be given into. We have been embraced. We have been esteemed. We have been humbled. It is no small thing when you find yourself in the center of God's palm.

I need to be there. In the midst of all the blessing and fulfillment, I was blindsided.
My Daddy died. It was sudden. Unexpected.
Life seems so odd. To be living when others aren't - can't. It would be so much easier if it all ended at once. Yet life is good.
There is still a song sung over me. His song. Undeserved, but lilting and enveloping, ... and carrying.
We are expecting friends soon. Christmas and it's celebration of hope and it's gift of life are coming on their heels.
Life is without Daddy ~ But not without Papa. God is a Father to the Fatherless. That is me now. He sets the solitary into family. This solitary daughter has found family and home in Montana - set into it by a loving Papa.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. My heart hurts, I lost my dad too and even though it was a while ago it still breaks me to know the pain you feel. I am so sorry. You and your family are in my heart and prayers. H

Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

I'm sorry to hear of your father's death. An unexpected death is especially hard.

Your writing assures me that you had a very good father. Your memories of him will be warm and full.

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

Sara said...

What a beautiful and touching post...and a fun photo too. I can't wait to be closer to you! Soon.

Anonymous said...

It's good to hear from you. Though we're in the same state, I still connect best via the blogosphere when I can't actually be with you or call.
I'm sure you've been spending time moving in while trying to mourn your dad. Thank you for being transparent. We love you, and our hearts are with you during this difficult time, especially with Christmas coming. Enjoy your new family.

Anonymous said...

There seems to be no magical words to say when we go through the death of a love one except I am thinking and praying for your family.
On another note, I have been checking your blog everday, so when I popped in this morning I was very happy to see that "you are back." Hopefully I'll call you this week sometime-Love ya Shelly

Anonymous said...

Deea...please accept my apologies for not connecting with you sooner about your dad. May your heavenly Father minister to you in a deep and profound way as you deal with the passing of your earthly father. I actually just found out about it about 5 days ago. Everything with Larry has preoccupied our thoughts. We would love to spend a few moments with all of you if that would be possible when you are here. Let me know what works best for you. We miss you sooo much! Christmas Eve will never be the same!

Deeapaulitan said...

You all have me in tears this morning. Thank you for your loving thoughts and prayers, for reaching across the miles to touch my heart.

Shari, you are right, this still seems the best way to connect with eachother, and I don't mind.

Writing is easier for me than talking on a phone and sometimes even face to face. I like thinking through what I am saying and crafting it to express my heart.

Shelly - I tried calling the other day and did't leave a message because I was on my way somewhere and so I thought I would try again, and just haven't. Forgive me.

Heather - Watching you fulfill a dream, and a long awaited one at that, that centers aroud new life and parenthood has really helped me during this time of losing my own parent. Thank you for sharing your story with us and for being so honest in your feelings! We love you all!

Sara- You'll be here in 10 days! Does that seem possible? ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH CHRIST! YAY! I'll see you soon.

Jeffery - You always surprise me. Showing up at such unexpected times, but I am grateful.

Peggy - As we have prepared for our holidays this year it has been difficult to know that not only are we away from blood family, but away from family by Another's blood. Larry is consuming our thoughts and hearts as well. I never would have expeted the fulfillment of a dream to hold such bittersweetness. Christmas eve will never be the same.