Speak Memory

It's been awhile. Forgive me . Life seems to get the best of me. I've been reminscing lately. Being here, being in ministry, seems like the underside of reality. Like real life is actually on the flipside of the life we are living. I reread some journals, some prophesies, poems, & stories from the wilderness years. They still hit like lightning in my spirit. God speaks so clearly and to the heart of me, even though this is 10 - 12 years later. I have much to learn, much I still need to have spoken as I dream.

Here are some excerpts from Sinai:



"The ability to question, the ability to take a skeptical position is absolutely central to my unerstanding of myself. It is very important to experience doubt. I think faith without doubt is either just nostalgia, or a kind of addiction." ~Mary Gordon



"Do I actually believe in the death sentance that was proclaimed of me (self) at Salvation's Endowment? Am I trying to tame what needs to die?"



"The only reason judgement exists is for forgiveness. When I know what I am being forgiven of (because of judgement - the law), redemption becomes valuable."



"When God bestows His annointing oil upon you, it will not matter whether they understood your dreams or not."



"As much as music was a part of David's life, as much as he loved it, and as skillful as he was at it ~ it was NOT what he was annointed for. BUT the annointing came as a result of a heart; a heart developed in the pouring out. The release in song."



"Dreams are questionable. Vague & allusive. But should a man, who has been established in reputation as faithful & trustworthy, who dreams a dream be considered quetionable as well? Only a Dreamer recognizes a Dreamer's value and a dream's worth."

"I am a history writer. There is history yet to be written."

"Am I in to win, or just to play?"

"The stronger I feel about something, the more it is loved, the more time, honor and devotion is dedicated to it. We become like what we focus on; where our delight is directed."

I know. It's all simple. It is just hitting me again. I'm so glad He speaks life - it makes it that much easier to die.

Big Picture Friday

Minda asked me to roll her hair in rags! She hasn't ask me in ages.

She was all bouncy to match thes yesterday.

Here she is reading one of her favorite poetry books.

13 can be so fun!

Room With a View

These two mamas and their fawns have walked by our house the last few evenings...
I watch them from my bedroom window.

I never tire of seeing the deer, or watching
the sun rise and set over the mountains to the east & west of us.

It's a Date!

We take Cassia to College Group on Monday nights and then James and I head off for some Crunch and Munch! (We crunch on one another and munch some food)

Today's date consisted of Rockford Coffee (who serve Cafe' Vita coffee, and have an amazing house chai!), and The Naked Noodle for dinner. (don't you feel naughty just saying the name?!!)

We wore our warmest togs, argued over signficant and insignificant issues, ate 'til we felt we would burst and came home more in love than ever.

The End

Seahawks lost today. This was James and Tof's response when the Bears kicked a 50 yrd. field goal in overtime to win the game.

Poor Fellas

Big Picture Friday

We found out this morning what it means to run out of Propane when it is -25 degrees outside. Never having lived in a home heated by propane before, we will chalk this one up to experience, and having experienced it, will not likely be making that mistake again!

Adieu

We had some new friends over to ring in the New Year!

A Little Food

A Little Festivities

A Little Dancin'

A Little Twisted

A LOT of Dishes!

My pipe is out, my glass is dry;

My fire is almost ashes too;

But once again, before you go;

And I prepare to meet the New:

Old year! a parting word that's true,

For we've been comrades, you and I -

I thank God for each day of you;

There! bless you now! Old Year, goodbye!

RW Service

Happy New Year Everyone! I look forward to sharing it with you!

Ya Gotta Get Up, Ya Gotta Get Up....

It's Christmas Morning!

God is so faithful to me. Even in my lack, He brings joy and sweetness to this day.

The kids woke one by one. I had been up for an hour before the first one peeped around the corner. I woke James with coffee. Sleepy smiles, hugs & kisses ensued.

It was just what I needed.

We had our time of gifts. Then we drew, played and napped before heading to Pastor Steven's and Stacey's for dinner and games.

I love being in th grip of the grace of God!

Here's some highlights!!

Pastor James at candlelight service.
Santa left one of his Reindeer outside my bedroom window!
Called up ~ They wait til we get cocoa made and James Taylor crooning out the carols.
Huh? Oh!
Stocking goodies are always a favorite!
Prayer
Grama Judy's traditional breakfast! Christmas Casserole (sausage, eggs, cheese), pear halves, cinnamin bread, & OJ! Couldn't have our first Christmas away from them without bringing them into our celebration somehow.

Tofer rolls the butt, Minda takes the midriff & Cassia goes for the cranium!

Team Montana and the Hallelujah! Snowman!

What a fun holiday we had!

(I have been trying for several days to post this, but blogger wasn't cooperating... Sorry it took so long.)

Fa La La La La La

This is as far as we have gotten with Christmas this year. With the saga of selling a house, having just moved into our new home, losing my Daddy suddenly & traveling back for his memorial service, the movers leaving my mixing bowls and baking stones behind, and the general lack of funds that goes along with moving - we haven't bought a single gift, baked a single cookie or pie, or sent out a single card. Getting into the Spirit of it all is alluding me.

We're done with school tomorrow until next Wednesday.

I'm amazed, and a bit bugged, at how much of who I am is still wrapped up in what I do. My lack of organization, getting things done, or writing our fun, snappy Christmas letter ~ is affecting how I feel about the Salvation of God coming to earth. I can't see past my own exhaustion and loss.

This is so much harder than I thought it would be.

Pictures of Home

"Home" - Great Word ~ Great Feeling ...

We are unpacked! We are feeling settled! Friends are beginning to trickle in regularly! These windows hold the most breathtaking view of the Bitteroot Range!

The house is older. We kinda love its odd quirks though!

Home at Last

In our front yard Wednesday Morning!
It seems magical, this whole idea of coming into a Calling. As if it should only be a dream, or like you are playing and it will all end when you are called for dinner.
Being in Montana and waking up to a world covered in white, and more snow softly falling helps with that etherial feeling.
Furthr add to the equation the fact that we are in a home that overlooks the Gallatin Valley, with the Bitteroot Range and the Tetons beyond that and I become just plain overwhelmed.
BUT it doesn't end there. God called us to a people who love us. He has given us opportunity both to give and be given into. We have been embraced. We have been esteemed. We have been humbled. It is no small thing when you find yourself in the center of God's palm.

I need to be there. In the midst of all the blessing and fulfillment, I was blindsided.

My Daddy died. It was sudden. Unexpected.

Life seems so odd. To be living when others aren't - can't. It would be so much easier if it all ended at once. Yet life is good.

There is still a song sung over me. His song. Undeserved, but lilting and enveloping, ... and carrying.

We are expecting friends soon. Christmas and it's celebration of hope and it's gift of life are coming on their heels.

Life is without Daddy ~ But not without Papa. God is a Father to the Fatherless. That is me now. He sets the solitary into family. This solitary daughter has found family and home in Montana - set into it by a loving Papa.

There Is No Life I Know...

That compares with walking with my Savior!

Our House is in the final stages of closing!
We should sign papers the day before Thanksgiving! (Honey, I'm coming Home!!)
I am overwhelmed this season at the faithfulness of God.
Here is my "Thank You" list, just off the top of my head ~ I'm sure there should be more!
*Long awaited dreams coming true.
*A family that loves God with their whole life, being, heart, and soul.
*A new home, church family, and adventure.
*Being together for the holidays.
*God's amazing grace and His newly restored mercies every morning!
*God's love that washes over me daily, that cleanses me, gives me hope, and brings me back to His knee and down to mine.

Nothing Compares.

The Big 6 Year Old!

Cricket turned 6 today! I can't believe we have had this little bundle of fluff and love that long!
James and I joke that she is the best investment we ever made with our $$, but it is probably true. The return in fun, love, cuddles, laughter, joy, and comfort has been much greater than we could have hoped or imagined.
Happy Birthday To The Best Dog Ever!

New Life from Old

I'm Reading again.

A book I have actually wanted to read for awhile, but have never found. Yesterday, miraculously, while I was on a mission at a second hand store to buy note cards, I saw a sale sign on tables of books.
Asking my youngest to inquire as to what the sale was, I began to peruse. She returned to tell me that every book was 10 cents! Now, it isn't as if we don't already have 20 + boxes of books packed, but 10 cents? What is a bibliophile to do???

There, tucked between books that were 5x its size and girth was the little book I had been searching for for years after overhearing a conversation about it in a bookstore. 10 cents handed over to the Senior Center and this little 50 year old gem was mine!

The Title? Gift from the Sea - by Anne Morrow Lindburgh. I am absorbing it. Drinking it in. It feels like she is talking intimately with me. As if we 2 are the only ones in the room and our hearts are whispering to eachother.

I'll let you in on the secret - just a glimpse: "The shape of my life is determined by many things; my background and childhood, my mind and education, my conscience and its pressures, my heart and its desires. I want to give and take from my children and husband, to share with my friends and community, to carry out my obligations as a woman, an artist, as a citizen. But I want first to be at peace. I want singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me t carry these out well. I would like to achieve a state on inward grace from which I could function and give as I was meant to in the eye of God."

50 years and she knows my heart. 50 years and new life is being birthed from dormant seed.

Here We Go A Wassailing!

It's as simple as...

64 oz Cranberry Juice

3 Tblsp Orange Juice Concetrate

1/3 c Honey

5 Whole Cloves

3 Cinnamins sticks

Simmer all day

Add water if too strong

Add honey if too tart!

HT: Cassia for photos!

God Works in Mysterious Ways...

1st--
2 months ago I got a note on my blog. Not an uncommon occurance, I know, but there was something different about this one. It was a guy for one thing, and I don't get many of those leaving comments! But this one acted like he knew me. Through a strange series of events that I won't go into, I found out this guy was a friend from my highschool days that I had not seen or talked to in 18 years! He had moved to Maine, had a family and had found me by a "fluke" on Flickr.

Then--
James moved to Bozeman to begin the Worship pastor position he was hired for at Alliance Fellowship about 3 weeks ago. One of the first people he met with was Brandon Edwards who is the worship leader at JourneyChurch. Come to find out, he was trained up by the same man who trained up James at PBC, and had experienced a similar adventure in arriving in Bozeman!


Just 4 days ago--
I decided to join a group of women across the US who are committing to live more simply. To buy 2nd hand or barter for things other than things that would be unhealthy to buy 2nd hand or services. I had gone to the blog of someone who had made the commitment after seeing her photos on Flickr and then seeing a post about her on another blog I frequent. The next day I got an email from her. She and her husband were the candidates for the worship position James was hired for in Bozeman! We have become fast friends. Amazing, awesome, wonderous... the ways of God!


All I can say is, WOW! What does God have in store with these relationships? I don't know. What I do know is how thankful I am for them and for God's grace in bringing us together! I feel loved, watched over, and known by the Creator of the Universe! I am humbled and blessed by His mysterious ways...

Feels Like...

I was out shooting the pictures of the Oak when a loud clamour was heard overhead...

I suddenly had the urge for mulled cider or wine and a crackling fire... Now its Autumn...

Big Picture Friday

Tradition! We take a shot every year at this spot. This year was

early and poingant.

Normally there are a ton of leaves on the ground, the air is so cold that we are

rushing to get back into our coats, and the background

is crisp and clear because of the

Wintery light.

We don't know if we will be here in November.

This may be our last shot here.

I promised I wouldn't post these to flickr, but go here and check out what

my fellow Friday Photo Bloggers did!

Letting Go

I had high hopes. They were dashed. I cried - long & hard. Then I prayed... "Father, I don't know why, but I know I want to glorify You. I know You have a purpose. With a shattered heart I ask that You would have Your way in me & in the circumstance so that Your glory can be unhindered and Your purposes fulfilled." I'm better now. I still have hopes, but they are loosely held.
It doesn't look like we will be able to buy a home in Bozeman. As a homemaker, that is almost like throwing me in a dungeon. We won't have a home, just a rock to lay our heads on and dream of Heaven. An alter to erect. But God will be there and we will be together.

Follow Your Heart

Stepping out to follow a dream that has long been held in the dark and quiet of the soul is never an easy thing. You 2nd guess your decisions, look for a reason to stay put, and wonder if the dream is really nothing more than wishful thinking or escapism. As we step out into an 18 year old dream, and brush off the cobwebs and dust, I have begun reading a book. I didn't know anything about it. Our host son from last year gave it to Tof while we were in Korea this year. It is challenging me. Here are some quotes that have wakened the adventurer/ sojourner/ treasure-seeker in me:

"...people need not fear the unknown... We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions... Fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand."
"...understanding is really the sudden immersion of the soul into the current of life, where the histories of all people are connected and we are able to know intuitively..."

"...I'm afraid if my dream is realized, I may have no reason to go on living... I am afraid that it would all be a disappointment, so I prefer to go on dreaming."

"The boy felt jealous at the freedom of the wind." But then he realized that was how he felt when he dreamed...he was the only thing holding him back.

~~Paulo Coelho~~ "The Alchemist